All day, you’ve been followed by a creeping sense that there is something you’re supposed to be remembering. And suddenly, your brain flashes a neon sign: ‘FORGOT ANNIVERSARY’. Why is it so hard to remember that very important date? It seems like your wedding anniversary date would be obvious, yet all too often it slips your mind until it’s too late.
Suddenly, you’re in the dog house and your partner is fuming. They accuse you of not caring, and you’re not sure how to respond. Granted, the Bible urges us to be forgiving:
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you. —Ephesians 4:32
Unfortunately, your partner probably isn’t going to be open to that sort of reminder! Instead, use strategies to help you make peace and to prevent any future oversights:
Offer An Explanation, Not An Excuse
Your partner doesn’t want to hear excuses. If they feel like you’re trying to justify your mistake, it will only make them angrier. If you want to explain why you forgot your anniversary, let your partner know that it’s simply an explanation. Tell them that you’re not trying to excuse yourself. You’re simply telling them what happened, and you recognize that they have a right to be mad and are under no obligation to deny feelings simply because you have a reason for forgetting.
The explanation might be as simple as being scatterbrained and terrible at remembering dates. It might be deeper, such as being so stressed out from work projects, and perhaps even the threat of potential layoffs, that your anniversary totally slipped your overcrowded mind. Either way, be humble and honest with your partner and preface it with a disclaimer.
For example, you could start off with something like this, “I’m not saying this makes it okay, but I really want you to know why I forgot our anniversary. It has nothing to do with my love for you or the importance of the date that we made our commitment to each other. I just want you to know what happened. You can still be mad at me because I know how important it is to you, but please give me the chance to explain why I forgot.”
Make It Up To Your Partner
No, you can’t turn back the clock and get back that lost anniversary date, but you can still make it up to your spouse. You’ve probably said “I’m sorry” already, and you might have even repeated it multiple times. The problem with an apology is that it doesn’t fix the problem. Words are easy to say, but actions prove that you really mean them.
Plan a special surprise for your husband or wife based on what they like. Do they love going out on the town? Set up a whirlwind night of dinner at a favorite restaurant and dancing at a lively nightspot. You’ll win even more points if you book a limo to pick you up. If you can afford it, add a bouquet of roses waiting on the seat.
If your spouse is more of a homebody, or if your budget is limited, plan out a special night at home. Send the kids to a sitter’s house and greet them with a bubble bath where she can soak while you prepare a romantic dinner. Seek out some romantic movies to watch after you dine and then invite them to enjoy a soothing massage. Let things progress naturally.
Maybe your partner is juggling a job with household duties. Imagine how much they’d love it if you cleaned the house from top to bottom. Send them out on a spa day or out with their friends and get to work! If you’re not good at cleaning yourself, hire a maid service for a few hours of deep cleaning.
Those are just a few ideas for recovering from a forgotten anniversary. The field is wide open, based on what your partner would consider a special day or night. He or she might still be angry that it’s not happening right on your anniversary, but they’ll melt if you wow with your effort.
Make Sure You Never Forget Your Anniversary Again
Once you manage to fix your communication issues and soothe your spouse, you don’t want to bring down the same kind of wrath next year. Take steps to ensure that you won’t forget your anniversary ever again. Mark it on your calendar and in your day planner. Send yourself a reminder email post-dated a week ahead of time and another reminder the day before. Sign up for an online reminder service, or even more than one. The more reminders you get, the less likely you are to slip up in the coming years.
Most importantly, remember that this shouldn’t be a day of obligation. It’s a day to celebrate the commitment you made to each other, so make sure you do it right next year (and all the years after that).
Need ideas for building romance? Try playing these 21 Amazing Christian Love Songs
